New Category: Reviews


Because giving my appropriately-undervalued opinion is one of my favorite hobbies, I’ve created a new category just for it: reviews. While most of these reviews will probably be for video games and other nerd-related paraphernalia, there are no restrictions for it. Anything I happen to particularly like – or particularly hate, for that matter – could end up here. Currently I’ll be using actual adjectives instead of a simple number scale rating system, but I might change it later.

Right now I’ll just be reviewing things that pertain to my rather-more-eventful-than-usual weekend. Keep in mind that I am no professional critic, nor am I a self-proclaimed connoisseur of anything. These are my opinions, written like a normal person, to be read and understood by normal people.

Movie: Kick-Ass – Gratuitous, unrealistic violence? Check. Lovably quirky-yet-believable characters? Check. World’s cutest homicidal ninja maniac? Check. Boring protagonist? …Unfortunately, check. The actual character of Kick-Ass is really pretty boring. I know he’s supposed to be a normal, nerdy, can’t-get-a-girlfriend high school student, but he’s too normal. You know why movies are unrealistic? Because reality is boring. We don’t go to movies to see the same things we could watch while sitting on our front porches. His two friends are pretty good characters, though. Their jokes compliment one another pretty well, and the chemistry is good. The love interest is as dumb as a bag of hammers, but as the damsel-in-distress in a superhero movie, that’s forgivable. Red Mist is, frankly, annoying as fuck. He’s an arrogant little rich kid whose super persona seems to be nothing more than a pampered emo douchebag with a nice car. Remember how everyone loved the Dark Knight not because of Batman, but because of the Joker? Kick-Ass is the same way: the protagonist holds the story together, but Big Daddy (yes, it’s actually a good Nic Cage role) and Hit Girl are the ones you paid to see. Where else can you see an 11-year-old girl utter the word “cunt” and sound totally badass? And anyone who says it’s “controversial” or “pedo bait” because Hit Girl is “sexualized” can bite my fuckin’ ass. She couldn’t be seen as sexy in any form of the word. Chris-goddamn-Hansen couldn’t find a problem with this. Overall, a great movie. If you’re even remotely nerdy or a fan of comics/superhero movies, you MUST go see it.

Bacardi Rum – For as dirt-cheap as it is, it’s not bad. It burns on the way down like any liquor, of course, but it gets the job done and doesn’t leave you wanting to kill yourself in the morning.

Angus Ribeye steaks – They’re Angus-motherfuckin’-ribeyes, almost $8 a pound. Of course they’re good.

Admiral Nelson’s Coconut Rum – Captain Morgan’s younger, trashier, cheaper cousin. Like before, it’s good for how cheap it is. You won’t want to drink it on the rocks, but blended in a Pina Colada it’s pretty damn awesome.

Copa de Oro Coffee Liqeur – Surprisingly good for its price. I used it to make my very first white russian, and I’m absolutely in love. I’ve made it house law to keep a bottle of this in the cabinet at all times.

Restaurant: Kanpai of Tokyo – Now I’m not an expert on Japanese cuisine by any means, but I sure do love me some Asian food, boy. But this place isn’t just about the food, it’s a show, which I thought was great because I love Japanese culture. It’s one of those hibachi…teppanyaki…what-the-fuck-ever restaurants where they cook the food in front of you. Hell, they charge you five bucks just for the show if you don’t order any food! Cory, Chris, and I all ordered fried rice with grilled chicken, filet mignon, and shrimp. Cory and I had vegetables (onion, zucchini, cabbage, and mushrooms). You get a choice of hot sauce, mustard sauce, white sauce (shrimp sauce), and ginger sauce. I got the last two, both of which were really good. I even looked up a recipe for the “white sauce”, that’s how friggin’ amazing it is. The portions are huge, as well. I got about two and a half meals out of my serving. On top of all that, it was free (Chris’s treat), and everyone knows that food tastes better when it’s free. But even if I did have to pay, I would definitely say it’s worth the money. The dishes range from about $20 up to almost $50 for the best steak and lobster money can buy. The huge servings, friendly service, entertaining show, and classy-yet-relaxed atmosphere mean it’s definitely worth it.

Game: Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning – If you play World of Warcraft, you don’t really have to play Warhammer. Aside from more realistic (and glitchier) graphics, I hardly saw any differences. A lot of people mentioned that the PvP (or RvR as it’s called in WAR) is much better, but I don’t like PvP at all so I didn’t give a shit.  Here’s an example of the similarities, that is, if you’ve played WoW: I played a Witch Elf (rogue), which starts with two daggers and very little clothing. I use smaller, quick attacks to generate Blood Lust (combo) points, then use bigger Frenzy attacks (finishing moves) that do more damage based on how many points I’ve saved up. Your currency is the same gold/silver/bronze (oh boy, what a twist) system. You join guilds, you travel in parties to take down more difficult enemies. Your professions are Cultivation (herbalism), Butchery (skinning), scavenging (skinning, but with humanoids), magical salvaging (disenchanting), apothecary (alchemy and first aid), and talisman making (jewelcrafting). The coolest thing that WAR has that WoW doesn’t are the PQ, or public quests. These quests are going on all the time, regardless of who is doing them. If you’re in the general area, you can participate. If all stages are completed, everyone rolls for loot based on participation and a number of other bonuses. It’s really fun, and encourages you to jump into groups and start working together. Basically: if you like WoW so much that you’re willing to pay an extra $15 a month to play a mechanically-identical game, then go right ahead. Enjoy yourself. If you’d rather spend that extra time playing WoW some more, you won’t be missing anything.

@)—-

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  1. Bacardi Rum is certainly a great liquor for the buck, in fact its sitting in my kitchen right now! 😀 And I love the random collection of stuff you reviewed… it is pretty entertaining to read, especially because I love your style/attitude in writing.

  2. Good to know I’m not the only one who likes to get drunk on cheap liquor! And thank you, I’m glad you liked to read it. Comments like yours are what make me keep posting. 🙂

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